I don’t watch American Idol. I don’t care two scoots about the show, and I never have. I can sum up everything I know about all of the contestants right here.
- Kelly something-or-other won the first season.
- Clay Aiken is gay.
- My niece works for the most successful AI alumnus.
- There once was a contestant named after a Disney cartoon.
- There once was a contestant with a bald head and a nice basket.
- An Indian kid was ridiculed a lot.
- Adam Lambert is gay.
Speaking of Adam Lambert, I’ve never heard him sing, and never heard him speak during an interview. All I know of him are various things that the gay blogs post. This limited knowledge makes it somewhat a mystery as to why he bugs me so much. It’s true: Adam Lambert makes me nuts. Seeing his photo actually makes me angry, sometimes. I have no idea why.
I say this, even though Details magazine recently published these editorial shots, which might be the greatest photography this magazine has ever published, if you ask me. I would frame this and hang it on my wall — if it wasn’t Adam Lambert. I like this shot enough that it made me consider that maybe I was being a little too harsh on Adam Lambert.
And suddenly, I hate him all over again. Certainly, that can’t be the real album cover, can it? This photograph reminds me of Sheena Easton, Nagel, Dead or Alive (see below), feathered hair, synthesizers, LA Gear, and absolutely everything that was wrong with the 1980s. And so help me God, if this kind of photography makes a serious comeback and suddenly models want me to make them look like that, you’ll be finding my cameras for sale on eBay.