So Sad

We’ve heard about four suicides of gay teens this month. Sadly, my gut says this is the norm and just the news story-du-jour, and there are probably other gay teens who’ve committed suicide this month who didn’t make the news or weren’t out. Still, it’s about time this issue made its way out of the LGBT community and into mainstream news. The actions of kids who call other people things like “fag” and “queer” and the pastors who talk about homosexual damnation and anyone else who bullies the LGBT community have deep consequences — especially to the youth of America when LGBT teens have been proven to be four times more likely to attempt suicide.

This particular story is garnering the most attention right now, probably because it’s so awful on so many levels. Not only is was Clementi’s sexuality the issue, but the internet became a weapon. I know that I use the internet a lot both personally and professionally (and yes, I’m even posting this online), but I really don’t think people realize how much power the internet can have. Over and over, I see people saying rude and hateful things online that I know they’d never say to a person’s face. I have walked away from a potential friendship with a person who did this so frequently. And so many things can seem okay at the time, but once something is out on the internet, it’s there for the world, for good. Even if you take down your bitchy status update, your inappropriate photo, your voyeuristic video, it still exists. You put it out there, people saw it, people were affected by it, and it became part of the human experience.

http://abcnews.go.com/assets/player/walt2.6/flash/SFP_Walt.swf

I hope people really think about this. It’s definitely something I am thinking about.

As for these two kids who videotaped Clementi, I hope this haunts them for the rest of their lives. I hope they realize that they are almost solely (if not solely) responsible for the death of another human being. And I hope that the roommate especially, Dharun Ravi, receives the maximum sentence of 5 years.

Oh, and one more thing: I think we all need to consider this a sad reminder that if you ever see someone posting a status update like “jumping off the gw bridge,” whether you know the person or not, drop whatever you are doing and get yourself to god damned bridge to try to stop them. I can’t stop wondering if this might have had a different outcome. It’s true, he may have tweeted the update from his phone when he was already standing on the bridge. But we don’t know.

Print Sale

In an effort to clear out some space, I have signed and matted copies of the following four photos that I’m willing to sell for 33% off the normal asking price on my website. Let’s say $40 plus $5 for shipping and handling to anywhere in the USA. Let me know if you’d like one of them.

Chris

Michael

Pavel

Ryan

Each print is an 8 x 10.

Sunset

I saw a lovely sunset over the neighborhood. That particular shade of almost cantaloupe-like orange and crisp blue might be one of my favorite color juxtapositions.

Unrelated to this, last night there was an unusually high number of cute guys around our neighborhood. To be honest, most days, trying to find an attractive man in our part of the east side of Indianapolis is about as easy as finding wisdom at a Sarah Palin book signing, but we passed three seriously hot boys jogging through our neighborhood when we were on the way to the gym, and then we got there and I saw at least four very cute boys that I’m sure I’ve never seen previously. It was like a college softball team parachuted over my neighborhood and stayed. One of my regular gym crushes was there, too. I’m not complaining.

Jerry

Here are a few more photos of one of the newest guys to pose for me, Jerry. I have no doubt that I’ll want to work with him again. And besides being super photogenic, he’s one of the nicest guys I’ve met in a long, long time.

Ross

Here is a portrait of Ross that I took between settings during a recent photo shoot.

There’s one more photo, which is 18+ and not safe for work, after the jump. And there are more on my site.

Michael

I had one of my models at a pool a few weeks ago. Here are some of my favorite shots.

There are plenty more on my website in Michael’s gallery.

Alex, in Drifters and Wanderers

See the set of both photos, which is not safe for work, by clicking here.

The Song List

Among all the information that I am responsible for knowing is this list:

Tori Amos: Happy Phantom
Tom Waits: Hallelujah
Brett Dennen: Blessed
Talking Heads: And She Was
Pearl Jam: Just Breath

This is the music that my friend Julia wants played at her funeral. I have been the holder of this information since 1993. We revisit the list once every two years or so to make sure it’s still accurate.

Julia has told me that I am the only person who knows this list. Even her husband has been informed that when she dies, he needs to come to me for the music. We’ve never really discussed what happens if I die first, but I guess this blog post sort of negates the need for us to have a contingency plan.

A Post in Which I Allude to A Lot but Say Next to Nothing

It’s kind of a good thing that I don’t spout much personal information in this blog anymore, because if I did . Life right now is all kind of chaotic and borderline fucked up. In the last month, more people that I care about have been hospitalized than in the last 4 years, combined. Add to that some family issues, relationship issues, financial issues, trying to sell our home, starting a job search, and dealing with a handful of other personal issues and you could probably say that I’m hanging on to my wits by a thread — or that I’m capable of handling more stress and uncertainty than I think I am.

For what it’s worth, I do think things are beginning to turn around. This month has been better than last month, and this week is looking to be better than last week.

It seems that I’m lucky though in that when bad things pile up, there’s always something good that comes along. Case in point: Four years ago, when Jay and I were in serious danger of breaking up, that’s when Lucy walked into the garage and came home with us. And she’s definitely a good thing. This time, in the midst of more crisis and drama that I like to have in 5 years, big things are happening for my photography. BIG things (by my standards, at least).

I wish I could tell you what’s going on but I’m superstitious about things like that and feel like I’m going to jinx myself if I talk about them. But I’m working on three different things right now that, if they all were to materialize, would definitely push my photography to a new level next year. It’s intimidating and scary and exciting and I feel pretty out of my league in regards to one of the three projects in particular — to the point that I almost backed out on of it Saturday night. But Jay’s and a couple other friends who are in the mix are convincing me that I’m as good as my “competition” and I’m pushing those feelings aside and going for it.

More details coming . . . if they come to be. For now, just wish me luck, okay?

Greg

Greg was in town for a few days last week and we got to spend some good time together. To be honest, I wasn’t sure how I was going to react to seeing Greg the first time after Sam’s death, but I didn’t break down and wail in the airport upon first sight of him, which was my first fear.

We did have a very good visit, including dinner at Ambrosia and a drag show at Talbott St. Of course, Sam was with us frequently, in spirit and in conversation. It’s only been a few weeks, after all. Greg told me some things about Sam that make me think that Sam is okay now, wherever he is; Greg also told me some things about Sam that I wish I didn’t know. But that’s all part of life, I guess, and the stories we’re all writing.

Before he left, Greg asked me to take him to the studio for a few photos. He said that he wanted to feel handsome and good about himself again and he didn’t think anyone could help him do that as well as me. I asked him for permission to use the first of these two photos, because I was afraid he looked sad. Greg told me to use whatever I wanted.

I still can’t imagine going through what Greg is. For what it’s worth I think he’s handling Sam’s death very well; he’s an awesome man.